


The Intercom Incident

by Mandalore19



Category: Comedy - Fandom, Female Quarian - Fandom, John Shepard - Fandom, Mass Effect, Normandy - Fandom, Public - Fandom, Quarian - Fandom, Shepard - Fandom, Tali'Zorah - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:16:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7682401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandalore19/pseuds/Mandalore19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a very long day of fighting mercenaries, hacking terminals for a old friend, rescuing a young Quarian girl from slavery. Both Tali and Shepard were in very much need of blowing off some steam... If only the crew hadn't heard them on the intercom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Intercom Incident

__****"Oh Keelah Shepard! Harder! Faster!" Screamed Tali'Zorah Nar Normandy as she was fucked hard from behind by Shepard on the desk, her ass rippling from the impacts.

It had been couple hours since they had helped Miranda Lawson with mission regarding her twin sister and along with helping Liara find the Shadow Broker.

With crap load of stuff that had happened. She and her boyfriend decide they really needed blow off some steam.

Sweat drip off of them, Tali's long black hair was now cover with sweat. Shepard squeezed Tali's breasts as he starts picking up the pace. Good thing Tali bought some anti biotics.

"Oh god Tali! your so tight!" Cried Shepard as he leans in Tali's neck, nibbling it. Tali shiver as she felt this, she could never get over just how good it felt to be able touch one's skin.

However as Tali was being push forward by John on the desk, her fingers hit few buttons over at intercom.

Letting everyone know what was going on.

**Crew Deck**

"Oh my god! why are we hearing this?!" Screamed Kelly as she and many others began blush as they can hear Tali and Shepard's love making.

Kasumi puts her fingers in her ears, trying block the noise out, but failing, "Dear Kama! just what we need, hearing those two going at it like rabbits!" Said Kasumi, still trying block out the noise, she blushed at some of things Tali was saying.

Just how was it possible she was taking such a monster inside her?!

Samara sitting on the table, simply raises her brow, or whatever, at the noise. "... I did not think that Human men were that big?" Her question gotten odd looks from everyone, she simply ignored them and continue listen in.

Garrus in the Gun Battery was attempting try block the noise out with his pillows. "OH COME ON! YOU TWO DON'T NEED TO GO ROUND 6!" Garrus yelled, he had been attempting try sleep after a long day from Illum until he was interrupted by the loving making.

Over in AI core room, Legion looked up at the intercom. He looked confused for moment, "How is it that Shepard's body been able go that long and still get back up after very short time of rest? he should not been able to do that."

Dr. Chakwas from her office, leans back in her chair, and sighs. "Ah, young love, Tali is one luckily woman right now." She then pauses, "... Though I wish they didn't let us know of it. My old heart can only take so much of this."

From Miranda's office, the Cerberus agent groans and starts hitting her forehead on her desk, "Oh why me! why can't I have taken that shore leave like Shepard offer?!" Miranda hits her head another time on the desk.

"... We should have never have his body get energy boasters."

Despite with all was happening, Thane was the only one who looked calm, sitting at the table, "Hmmm, I should have bought those ear blocks I saw on the Citadel the other day."

**Deck 2**

"KEELAH! FUCK ME! FUCK ME!" Everyone at Deck was blushing at hearing what was going on, a poor woman fainted as she heard some of the things Tali was talking about Shepard's eh... equipment.

Joker at his sit, looks at the intercom, both in awe and little disturbed.

"Wow... I didn't think some of that was possible." EDI showed up at soon as Joker said that. "It shouldn't be possible Joker, being able mate with a woman a long periods of time and still be able go again for the 12th time without rest, should be something a organic be able to do. Unless you are a Krogan."

Joker scoff at that, "Easy for you to say. You're a AI, you can't do that stuff." EDI paused at that, "... Maybe so, it would seem I'll have to change that, I rather not miss out on that."

Joker simply lean back in his chair, "Yeah... wait what?!"

Within Mordin's lab, the Salarian scientist was currently in deep thought, his finger on his chin. "Hmm, those pills I gave them must have been filled with too much of mating pheromones."

Mordin then shrugs. "Oh well, it only brings more possible for studying."

In the Armory, Jacob Taylor who was working out and currently was wearing head phones in, listing to his favorite music as he works out.

So he was only one who wasn't hearing the sex going.

"101, 102, 103." Jacob continue to do his push ups without much a bother.

**Engineering Floor**

"GLIRK! GLIRK! GLRIK!" A rather loud slurping noise was being heard now, along with sounds like slapping hitting something... it didn't take long for people figure out what that was.

"Oh my god, that lass sure can take a pounding!" Said Ken as he looks up at the intercom.

A blushing Gabby whacks him on the head, "KEN!"

  
Grunt who was talking to Zaeed regarding some battles, looks up at the intercom, confused. "What's that? are Shepard and Tali sparring?"

At soon as Zaeed heard that, he falls on the ground, laughing like a mad man, "Hahaha! Yeah! You could say that! HAHAHAHA!" Grunt look on in confusement as Zaeed laughed.

Jack wasn't fairing very herself, even though she's done tons of sex acts, some of the things Tali and Shepard were doing were even too much for her. "Oh my god! can't they fuck like rabbits somewhere!" Jack buried her face in her pillows, trying block out the noise.

**5 hours later**

Both Shepard and Tali step out of the elevator, looking very happy, "Oh god Tali, that was great." Tali smiled behind her mask, "Like I said, totally worth it. Think am finally getting hand of taking that monster down." John smirked and gave a playful slap on her ass, making her give a cute yelp.

But before Tali could get her revenge for that, the two realized the floor was packed.

From the ground team to the staff crew members. Just about everyone on the ship, were in front of them, glaring at them. Even Legion was glaring.

"Ehh, something wrong here?" Said Shepard, confused as to why everyone was glaring at him and Tali. Garrus steps forward, rubs his neck, his cheeks turning blue as he try's explain the situation.

"Ehh Shepard. We uhh... Heard you two." Both Tali and Shepard looked alarmed at this, hoping it was what they were thinking.

"What you mean heard us?" Said Tali, crossing her arms under her breasts. She become even more confused when some of the crew looked away from her.

Garrus blushes even more, "We, all of us... Heard you two... Eh well." He really felt awkward about this whole thing. Jack sighs and stops Garrus right there. "We all heard you two fucking, fucking like rabbits on coffee!" Yelled Jack, still piss off at them.

Both Shepard and Tali jumped, looking shock. "WHAT!" They both screamed.

Miranda runs her eyes, sighing, "This is gonna be a long day." Oh yeah... it was gonna be a long day of reporting this event to the Illusive Man.


End file.
